Why Make Wedding Films?

We have been making wedding films (or wedding videos, as they used to be called) since we were asked to film the first gay wedding in Boston on May 17, 2004.  Jack had filmed a few weddings here and there for friends, and friends of friends, and I was occupied with another part of marriage, in my previous life as a couples' counselor. I never planned on being a wedding videographer, but having been married for many years already in 2004 (to Jack Brotman, husband and business partner with a different last name) the whole concept and experience of marriage occupied a large portion of my life and consciousness.
When we started making wedding films together, I was intrigued by the idea of capturing a couple's love and commitment at what is usually a high point in their relationship. I found it fascinating to observe a couple's interaction from a behind the camera perspective that was not so different from the perspective I used to have in the therapist's chair. What's more, from the start of my career as a wedding videographer, I believed in the future therapeutic possibilities of watching (and reliving) the wedding day through the magic of videography.
I fantasized about the couple many years down the road, having discovered that romantic love and even like can disappear under a mountain of stress, life challenges and demands thinking about watching their wedding film. I imagined the partners who, at the moment of frustration, fatigue or disagreement, could not recall what they saw in one another,  watching their wedding film and remembering.
Love is a complex experience - much more than just a feeling. It's easy to "love" a pair of shoes, a garden, a special restaurant which can be relied on to stay more or less the same over time. It's much harder to love someone who will likely be a very different someone decades down the road.
Jack and I understand that very well. While we focus on the wedding couple in our films, we also like to give time to their parents, grandparents and other close family and friends who have been wed for many years. It's often one of the high points of our filming to watch the deep love shared between partners married for many years.
Recently I was reminded by a good friend, whose new marriage I toasted 17 years ago this past weekend,
that I talked about all marriages having  various vintages, like the wines produced by any vineyard. Some years are flat and lacking in dimension. Some vintage years are juicy, robust and complex. Some years are full of youth and sparkle. Couples who stay married a long time are likely to experience them all.