There are always seasonal trends in weddings: The newest color palette. The most popular dress style. The bridal shoe of the season. In the past several years we have noticed a growing trend with couples themselves: They meet, fall in love, live together and don't marry until 8-10 years later. As a couples' counselor, I find hope and inspiration in this trend. It takes almost a decade for most couples to learn how to love one another well; to have navigated a few crisis together so the skills of working together have formed strong, flexible bonds.
Romance and chemistry are poor predictors of a marriage's success. While producing powerful conditions for a couple to bond, they do not provide the necessary structure to weather, lovingly, life's challenges.
When I witness a couple marrying after a decade together, I am always moved by the natural ebb and flow of energy between them. They know how to lead and how to follow. They have created the steps necessary for a partner dance. I smile when I anticipate that 50 years into the future, they will have still be dancing together - while also dancing with the stars.
No comments:
Post a Comment